Red Robin Review: Patty Melt Obession Part I

Everyone who is into food or at least those who are pregnant get cravings for things sometimes.  And since according to basic anatomy and physiology I fall into the former camp I've had an obession lately with the basic diner staple of the patty melt.  The patty melt usually has a little bit of everything that anyone as an American would enjoy (What about you tofu and beansprout people? You're at the wrong blog.). Red meat ground and shaped into an ample hamburger patty, melted cheese, onions grilled to bring out their natural sweetness, and dear Lord yes all of this is on YEAH TOAST!  I get it as a go to when I'm trying a burger joint for the first time.  It shouldn't be too hard to do correctly.  And I've had success getting it before at Britton Tavern and The Stacked Pickle.  My next quest to find out if Red Robin could be as successful.

The first thing I want to say about Red Robin is that if you are under 21 or have children with you Red Robin might be the most annoying restaurant in the known universe at which to dine.  When The Girlfriend and I walked in I almost turned around and walked out due to all of the screaming kids, general busyness, and crazy crap on the walls.  Think Uncle Moe's Family feedbag for you Simpsonites out there.  Luckily because we were both 21 we were seated on the bar side (Who is going to this place to drink??) and promptly ordered our meals.

My patty melt with fries came to the table in the expected amount of time and at first everything about it looked normal, but biting in immediately made me aware of two problems.  First of all when I ordered they asked me if I wanted "some pink" or "no pink" in my burger.  Despite the fact that a restaurant that prides itself on burgers can't for some reason understand the concept of well, medium well, medium, medium rare, and rare I ordered mine with "some pink".  You can alreadly probably guess that my patty melt came out with less pink in it than Chuck Norris' wardrobe.  I know I've said this before, but if you can't cook burgers to the right temperature then just don't freakin' ask.  It's insulting to your guests.  The second thing I noticed was that the bread was way over toasted.  It was so crunchy in fact it was a little hard to eat without the feeling that you were tearing the roof of your mouth apart.  All that being said the flavor of the meat, cheese, onions, and house made Thousand Island was good.  The bread was so offputting though it was hard to focus on much else. Also, I would be remiss without saying that I normally detest fries of the fat "steak fry" variety, but Red Robin has these down to a science.  They were crispy, light, and delicious.  Probably the only place where I would say I've ever enjoyed them.

Taste 5/10 Lagging far behind previous other patty melt entries on this blog.  I'm still yet to see why people say they love Red Robin so much. 

Value 4/10 The price was average here and pretty much exactly what you'd expect.  Execution issues with the food hurt the value score.