Product Review: Doritos Jacked Smokin Chipotle BBQ

"Really on point with bold flavors, you guys." If the twitter character @dadboner tweeted something about these new Doritos Jacked chips it would probably sound something like the aforementioned quote.  Being that he considers himself a "true bold badboy" like Guy Fieri well and if he were real he'd probably flip his lid over these things.  I on the other hand am slightly more skeptical.

Truthfully, product reviews are some of my favorite blog posts to write for this site.  I'm always thrilled about trying something new, and usually cheap considering they're usually on sale for promotion.  However, more often than not it seems I keep getting let down by products that are more bark than bite.  That is the case with these new Doritos.

Even though the packaging says new and the product has the hilarious and douchtastic label "JACKED" I can't help but feel this new flavor is completely derivative.  I mean com'on man we've been given "chipotle bbq" everything for what seems like a decade.  I mean that is pretty much the only reason Bobby Flay's big ginger head is creepily omnipresent on both Food Network and Cooking Channel.  I can even accept that in some instances I like the flavor, but it just feels a bit tired.  With that being said, I at least found these Doritos somewhat unique in actual flavor if not concept.  While I was expecting a somewhat high level of sweetness despite what "chipotle" should really mean the actual flavor was quite spicy for mainstream big brand chips.  I have a feeling a lot of the people I know that are more sensitive to heat would actually not be able to eat more than a couple.    I actually enjoyed this aspect, but I still don't think it made for an actually enjoyable snack that I would buy again.  That addictive quality that is present in so many other chips just wasn't there. Other than a little bit of heat nothing was brought to the table.  Things could have possibly been different if the heat was kept in tact along with a traditional bbq flavor that is present in other chips like those of the Kettle brand.


Taste 4/10 A resounding meh.  Pretty much like every other Doritos product. I'm subtracting an extra point for the weird thick texture these had. Seemed thicker than other Doritos. Strange.
Value 3/10 I got a medium sized bag for a medium sized price, but I would have rather spent my money on some Kettle chips for sure.

Revisit: Rosie's Place

I'm going to let you know right off the bat that this is somewhat of a strange post to write for me.  If there are two things I don't do much of that other food bloggers do it's write revisit reviews and write breakfast restaurant reviews.   I tend to shy away from the former because most of the time I feel that my opinion the first time was pretty spot on and there really isn't much else to say.  As far as the latter truthfully we just don't go out to breakfast very much because I don't get up early enough on the weekends or I just say screw it and make something at home.  In this review I'm breaking my rules and doing both of those things because let me tell you Rosie's is worth it.

Those of us who live in or near Noblesville are very lucky to have such awesome breakfast choices when the mood suits us.  While Best Bet tends towards the awesome and quirky, Rosie's trends warm and comforting. Kind of like a plush blanket that serves farm fresh eggs, homefries, and homemade well...everything.  When The Girlfriend and I showed up at Rosie's on  Sunday we were lucky enough to beat the rush and were promptly greeted with a warm smile and a good table.  Our server, Jeri, was very nice and quite on her game considering how busy the place eventually became. She explained some very tasty sounding specials including a couple varieties of quiche and a breakfast burrito that sounded rather badass.  However, I had my heart set on pancakes and that is exactly what I got.

Ever since I was a little kid I've been somewhat of a connoisseur of pancakes. I'm not of the opinion that all hotcakes are created equal.  I tend to prefer big buttermilk pancakes without the crispy edges that develop in some cases.  I have to tell you that Rosie's absolutely nailed my pancakes. Soft, pillowy, and large without that dry "cotton" quality that can  sometimes occur in big pancakes.  And besides my pancakes being almost as big as the plate a standard serving includes 3 pancakes. Plenty of food.  No eggs, sausage, or bacon necessary.  My one and only minor complaint is that the small cup of syrup they give you isn't really enough to adequately coat the 3 hotcakes. Also, as a side note I tried a bit of The Girlfriend's country eggs benedict, and that's probably what I'll get on my next visit if for some reason the brown sugar and oatmeal pancakes slip my mind.


Taste 10/10 If you told me something from here wasn't good I just wouldn't believe you. Period.
Value 10/10 Our breakfast tasted great, was plenty of food, and came in under 18 bucks before tip including drinks.

Catching The Burger Wave: Boogie Burger Review

"Eating seasonally." I think the general consensus of that term is the one that foodies, hipsters, and foodie hipsters most often employ and that is using ingredients in cooking that are currently in season and therefore taste fresher.  I can't disagree, but I think about that phrase in a different way also. When I say I'm eating seasonally I mean that there are certain types of food that I just associate with a time of year or a type of weather. As you can probably ascertain from my last few blog posts warmer weather to me means old school red meat hamburgers.

I don't know what it is.  I think I first and foremost associate hamburgers with warmer weather due to the grilling out factor. In fact I did have some fantastic outdoor grilled burgers on St Patty's at KTP's Bar in Broadripple (sorry folks it's a  private member's only establishment).  The combination of brown sugar, bacon, and green onion mixed into the meat was truly a winner despite any reservations you may have about such a concoction being overly sweet.  And while you may not get the chance to try those burgers there is a place in Broadripple that is making some truly badass burger creations that make for the perfect Spring/Summer lunch or dinner.  That place is Boogie Burger.

Truthfully, I've been wanting to try Boogie Burger for a long time.  Despite their new location being a stones throw from my friends' house where our group often hangs out I've just never made it in for a visit until now.  Man was I missing out.  As you walk in you are greeted a friendly face at the counter who is surrounded by a plethora of burger choices on the wall menu.  I went back and forth for a bit, and settled on one of my favorite combinations, the mushroom and swiss.  I also ordered a side of their garlic fries because I've heard good things and that it was kind of a signature item for them.  My order was ready in short order and my buddy and I ventured out on their patio to enjoy our burgers in this wonderful Spring weather we've been having. 

Everything about my burger and fries were absolutely phenomenal.  The burger was juicy, and the size of the patty was ample.  The swiss cheese was melted to gooey perfection. The mushrooms were in abundance on the top of my burger instead of just a couple of slices hiding underneath the bun that you sometimes get at other chain burger joints.  Speaking of the bun it was soft and pillowy and just the right size for the burger.  And although my burger was fantastic make no mistake I thought the real star of my meal was the garlic fries.  I know that is unusual since most of the time places have fries that are barely worthy of mention.  However, Boogie Burger's garlic fries are made with their fresh garlic parsley mix and are not to be missed.  Trust me on this one.  This is not fries tossed in garlic powder or garlic salt.  This is real deal fresh garlic, and it really delivers on smell and flavor.  Granted I am a big garlic fan, but honestly if you like flavor you should be a fan of these fries.  If not you should probably go read some pinko vegan blog about tofu.  All kidding aside, go to Boogie Burger andorder the garlic fries and please yourself now.  Brush your teeth and use some mouthwash to please your significant other later.

Taste 10/10 It took me awhile to make my first visit.  I assure you the time between now and my next visit will be much much shorter.

Value 10/10 The price of my meal with a burger, fries, and drink was around 11 dollars.  Some of you might say that's a bit steep, but the fries are easily a large enough portion to split (that's what we did actually) and the food tastes great.  If you're willing to pay that at Five Guys paying it at Boogie Burger, which I actually liked more, feels like a steal.

Union Jack Pub Review: Patty Melt Obession Part II

As I mentioned in a previous post I've been on a real quest for good patty melts as of late, and when a buddy and I were recently in Broadripple to watch future IU point guard Yogi Ferrel in the Sectional Final we decided to stop in to the Union Jack for a pint or two and some eats.  The Union Jack is somewhat famous for their deep dish bar pizza, and it's surely something that is on the list for me to try down the road.  However, on this night the patty melt was what I craved.

The bartender took our order and our food came out promptly which is always nice especially when you're on a schedule to see an event later in the evening like we were.  As soon as my melt arrived I knew I was in for a better experience than the one I had at Red Robin.  The bread this time was still toasted but still soft enough that the texture was palatable.  On this version of the patty melt the thousand island was included on the sandwich which is the way I prefer, and the choice of onion was red onion grilled thoroughly and cut into strips.  The patty itself was more than an adequate size and rather juicy even though it was still cooked all the way through. (Can't someone besides The Local actually cook a burger to medium or mid-rare?)  The fries were nothing special, but they were very crispy and had nice flavor.  No complaints.  I would have absolutely no problem ordering this again. 

Taste 8/10 Very solid effort here. Beats Red Robin by a mile. Compared to other pubs and bars the Union Jack's food is definitely near the top.
Value 6/10 The price for the food is exactly what I would expect to pay at such an establishment.  The above average food gets it 1 extra above average point on the value meter.  Watch out for the beers though. I was suprised to see that a Smithwicks draft was about $6.  Ouch.

Red Robin Review: Patty Melt Obession Part I

Everyone who is into food or at least those who are pregnant get cravings for things sometimes.  And since according to basic anatomy and physiology I fall into the former camp I've had an obession lately with the basic diner staple of the patty melt.  The patty melt usually has a little bit of everything that anyone as an American would enjoy (What about you tofu and beansprout people? You're at the wrong blog.). Red meat ground and shaped into an ample hamburger patty, melted cheese, onions grilled to bring out their natural sweetness, and dear Lord yes all of this is on YEAH TOAST!  I get it as a go to when I'm trying a burger joint for the first time.  It shouldn't be too hard to do correctly.  And I've had success getting it before at Britton Tavern and The Stacked Pickle.  My next quest to find out if Red Robin could be as successful.

The first thing I want to say about Red Robin is that if you are under 21 or have children with you Red Robin might be the most annoying restaurant in the known universe at which to dine.  When The Girlfriend and I walked in I almost turned around and walked out due to all of the screaming kids, general busyness, and crazy crap on the walls.  Think Uncle Moe's Family feedbag for you Simpsonites out there.  Luckily because we were both 21 we were seated on the bar side (Who is going to this place to drink??) and promptly ordered our meals.

My patty melt with fries came to the table in the expected amount of time and at first everything about it looked normal, but biting in immediately made me aware of two problems.  First of all when I ordered they asked me if I wanted "some pink" or "no pink" in my burger.  Despite the fact that a restaurant that prides itself on burgers can't for some reason understand the concept of well, medium well, medium, medium rare, and rare I ordered mine with "some pink".  You can alreadly probably guess that my patty melt came out with less pink in it than Chuck Norris' wardrobe.  I know I've said this before, but if you can't cook burgers to the right temperature then just don't freakin' ask.  It's insulting to your guests.  The second thing I noticed was that the bread was way over toasted.  It was so crunchy in fact it was a little hard to eat without the feeling that you were tearing the roof of your mouth apart.  All that being said the flavor of the meat, cheese, onions, and house made Thousand Island was good.  The bread was so offputting though it was hard to focus on much else. Also, I would be remiss without saying that I normally detest fries of the fat "steak fry" variety, but Red Robin has these down to a science.  They were crispy, light, and delicious.  Probably the only place where I would say I've ever enjoyed them.

Taste 5/10 Lagging far behind previous other patty melt entries on this blog.  I'm still yet to see why people say they love Red Robin so much. 

Value 4/10 The price was average here and pretty much exactly what you'd expect.  Execution issues with the food hurt the value score.